“Why are all the good guys taken?”

I know what you’re thinking, but I saw this question on Facebook. It was posted by a woman, who apparently is a bit frustrated at the dating scene. It’s an age old question asked by many women at some time or another. It’s either this one, or “Where are all the good guys?”. So to all the ladies out there that have asked that question or might just be getting ready to ask that question, I have an answer.

I want to be clear from the outset that this is not a general statement about all women, it’s just about a few.

So, where are all the good guys? Why don’t you take a look in the friendzone? How many guys do you have there? How many of you have a guy “friend” who is always there for you, listening to you complain about your current boyfriend who treats you like crap? The guy friend you tell, “Why can’t I find someone like you?”. By the way, that’s not a compliment for us guys. We read that as, “You’re everything I want a guy to be, but since you don’t look like Johnny Depp or aren’t built like The Rock I don’t really want you.” Yet we will stay in that friendzone for quite a while, hoping you’ll open up your eyes.

We in the friendzone are the ones who listen attentively to your problems.

We’re the ones who treat you as you claim to want to be treated.

We’re the ones who remember your birthday without prodding.

We’re the ones you come to when your boyfriend cheats on you with someone younger and prettier.

We’re the ones who try to make you smile while you’re crying.

We are the ones who are just there.

We may not be models and movie stars, but we clean up well. Ok, we at least clean up.

We may not be the “bad boy” out in public, but I’d bet most of us can be in the bedroom.

We’re the ones that try to pick up the pieces when you’re hurt.

We’re the ones who come running when you need someone.

Most importantly, we’re the ones who are loving you from afar and very likely he’s way too damn scared to tell you. Or, he has a touch of honor and won’t make such a statement while you’re with someone else.

Now onto the main question, “Why are all the good guys taken?”. Despite all I wrote up above, we can’t wait forever. Eventually we figure it out and start moving on. We end up finding someone who appreciates the good guy that we are.  We start seeing how we are treated by someone who wants the good guy. Then we move out of your orbit and “get taken”. Leaving you to fend for yourself.

Now maybe I’ve been too harsh here, or maybe not harsh enough, I don’t know. But seeing that after having heard that question so many times over the years when I’ve been friendzoned. It just hit me wrong. Made me mad and made me want to write this.

Maybe this’ll save some poor soul out there trapped in the friendzone. I’d like to hope so, at the very least I’d like to see them get a chance. Just a reminder to all the ladies out there asking or getting ready to ask this question. Not all the good ones are taken and I do sincerely hope you find one that treats you as you should be. No one deserves a lifetime of being treated like crap. Even if they’ve banished someone into the friendzone.

I know the friendzone is a two way street. Guys will put women there as well. So, please feel free to change the pronouns accordingly.


Originally published March 8, 2013